Birth of a Rainbow Part 2

Ok, So when I left you we were about to get our epidural.  The nurse came in to check me and I felt a gush.  "Um, not 100% sure, but I THINK my water just broke."  Sure enough.  Then I hear, "Wow you have a LOT of T cells."  At least I THINK that's what she said.  I was completely unsure as to what she was reffering to so I just shrugged.  "No, I mean a LOT."  I ask what that means and my baby who was SUPPOSEDLY early had pooed in me.  Lovely.  She reassured me that all was fine as long as he didnt try to breath in there.  Lovely.  He always had the hiccups so I KNEW he was working hard to learn.  She leaves and comes back with another nurse.  From their talking I find out that the night nurse had been seeing this, literal, crap in my discharge when I peed since 2 am and never told me, never told the nurses at the shift change.  She did, however, have the sense to right it in the report.  They were alert to the issue, but not too worried so I didnt worry too much.  Nothing I could do anyway.

The doctor with the long name who does the drugs (I have no spell check right now.  loL) came in and got me ready for the epidural.  I was LOVING this man....at first.  By the time he came in I was finally hurting.  I was relying pretty heavily on Landon with each contraction.  They were aweful, but not registering on the monitor.  I sat up and doc promised that if I was having a contraction he would stop.  Wonderful.  I sat over and arched my back, all that jazz...and then he went at me with the tube part over and over again.  He would stop with each contration, but it was NOT going in for anything.  My MIL was actually getting upset with the guy.  LoL!  He kept asking me to tell him if I could feel anything and it was always in my right side just above my hip.  He must have been hitting a nerve cause even after I got home I was feeling pain and weakness there.  He pulled everything out and tried up higher.  I had to laugh to myself a little...I had 3 holes to go with my 3 kids.  LoL!  My blood pressure was  highest at this point though.  We really didnt think he was going to be able to get it in.  I finally had him stop and I pulled Landon in front of me, had him kneel just a bit, and then draped myself over him to get more of an arch in my back...that did it.  Before they had me lean over a table or a nurse like that, but this guy had been happy to just have me arch.  Well, it didnt work.  He was great through the whole thing though.  I cried during this part...just so scared and frustrated...in so much pain.  He was very calm and talked me through everything he did and told me what was going on. 

Once the epidural was in things were much smoother...and faster.  Doctor H came in around 7 to check on me and then said he was in surgery for the morning but would check on me later.  Lucky for him I didnt go faster.  By about 9 am the epidural was wearing off and by about 9:30am they had the guy in to readminister the good stuff.  During this time I was in serious pain again.  It was different though.  I had never experienced it and kept telling the nurses I was going to have to start pushing soon.  "Not yet, almost".  Grrr!  THey had run a catheter earlier and FILLED the container they were draining me into...apparently this time it was "#2" that was causing my trouble.  Not much to do about that so I just put up with the pressure.  It felt like I was splitting in two down there.  Doctor H came out of surgery about a quarter to 10 and checked me.  I had just a rim left but said he had delivered me before, I could push past it.  That's right...now let me do some work and get this baby out!  I pushed twice and suddenly they were scrambling all over.  He yelled at me to pant and jacked the bed up into the air.  I'm doing my best to not push or scream, but I really couldnt help it.  He told me with each scream it was releashing energy in the wrong place.  I was REALLY trying NOT to, but it was more of an involentary thing.  I was silent with Luke, but I was feeling EVERYTHING with Daniel.  Each push ended with a last release that came from my vocal chords.  I told the doctor, still not pushing at this point, that I could feel the baby slipping out.  He turned and said, "Ok, GO!"  I pushed...once, twice....and there was my son.  My screaming, bloody, TINY, son.  I balwed.  I kept saying, "Oh, my God, I have two of those now!"  He was out, he healthy, he wasnt crying-YET, and he was beautiful.  The nurses suctioned him out real good and he started crying...and my tears came with him.  Landon was crying, I was crying.  LoL!  It was one of those awesome moments.  I never got that with Luke at all.  I felt so detached from the whole thing with him, but with Daniel it was different.

I made some small talk with the doctor while he was stichting me up.  I like to know the damage done.  No episiotomy, no tearing.  He said I DID tear my urethra and had some small labial lacerations, but nothing too bad.  They cleaned Daniel, lowered the lights, and everyone left but the nurse holding my son.  She undid the sides of my gown and handed me the tiniest thing I have ever held in my life.  I took him with tears in my eyes and just looked at him.  I asked if I could nurse him and she said of course.  He latched on and we laid there for 50 minutes just soaking into each other.  He was so warm!  The lactation consultant came in...waste of her time...and tried to tell me how to breast feed.  Obviously I was fine, but she's...well...different.  I took her with a grain of salt and repostioned him after she left to how we were before and he went back to nursing.  He wasnt too fond of her either.  LoL.

Recovery was much easier this time.  I had a lot of pain in my back and that right hip from the epidural...I was pretty weak in general, but other than that I was fine.  My "lady bits" didnt really start hurting until about a week later at home, and even then it just an irrtating feeling.  NOt really pain.  No pitocin, no episiotomy, no vaccum, no forceps.  I delivered him on my own.  Yes, my vagina felt like a burning ring of fire, but now it's just a distant memory...and I'm thankful for the pain meds I DID have.  I had prayed at first for a labor and delivery just like the one I had, but then decided that a more wise prayer would be to pray for the strength to deal with and handle whatever type God gave me...and he gave me the desire of my heart.

In 8 days we will be upon the one year anniversary of the death of my daughter, but without her death I would not have the precious baby boy I hold in my arms.  Say a prayer for us in the next few weeks...and help us to keep her alive as we celebrate the new little one in our lifes.