Easter Dresses are Evil

This morning we had our child birth class.  It was very helpful and I'm glad that I insisted we go despite this being my first.  It seems a few things have changed at the hospital and it really helped to ease a few of my fears.  The nurse was pretty great and answered all of our questions very well.  I met a few other momma's who are doing cloth dipes so that was pretty cool!  Guess I'm not so alone in this area after all.  The nurse doing the class kept looking like she was waiting on me to pop into labor at any time.  I was the furthest along in the class by, like, a week, and she refused to do any squatting positions or to REALLY get into practice pushing.  Lol!  It was funny. 

I've been having a lot more braxton hicks.  I remember having them A  LOT with Luke and it was pretty normal, but this time I keep hearing how they should be painless and if they arent you need to call the doc.  These are sometimes pretty intense, but they were with Luke too.  I guess I'll say something monday at the appointment and see what she says.  Would be great to get this show going, but another 2 week wait is ideal.  LoL.

After our class we registered Luke for T-Ball then went and did some shopping.  We stopped at Burlington, one of my ALL TIME fave stores for baby and maternity stuff.  I wasnt really prepared for the onslaught of baby Easter dresses though.  ouch.  I was thinking about what to dress the boys in this year when I walked head long into a huge display of nothing but frilly dresses.  I lost it.  Maybe it was the time of day, maybe I was just tired after the class, maybe it's just "that time of the month" with the full moon and all, but all I could think about was Vanessa and how I was cheated out of my dream of frilly Easter dresses.  *sigh*  Of course, I instantly felt guilty because I should thankful for my boys.  Freaking double edged sword.  I often wonder if it all would have been easier if I hadnt gotten pregnant so soon after loosing her, but I really doubt it.  Perhaps the guilt would have been a little better because I wouldnt be thinking this thoughts so strongly while pregnant with another child.  Things like her due date, first christmas she missed, now her first easter.  Mother's day is hard too, but that's a given.  I suppose that no matter WHEN it had happened there would be SOMETHING to worry and feel guilty about.  It just goes with the territory of being a momma.